Crippling Beauty

Long ago, a rumor was started (by Rwandans) that Rwandan women are the most beautiful of Africa. As the nation sought to preserve its reign in a championship that has no medal, we implored the “unfit” to kindly excuse themselves to the back of the line. Rationale being, show off the “pretty” ducks first! I now fear this over-emphasis on beauty is crippling our women.

I grew up with different problems, I was raised by a wonderful single dad who shaved our hair until we entered secondary school. So, my problem centered more around ensuring people know I am a girl, not a boy… (I have hair now!)

However, the classic portrait of Rwandan beauty consists in the following. She should not have oversized jaws (amabinga), she should be skinny but have a generous lower body (Gutera nk’igisabo). She ought to be born light-skinned, but bleaching is acceptable, as long as the bleach touched every part of the body in equal amounts.— [There goes I, quickly eliminated.] Concerning her smile; dark gums are preferred, and a gap is extra plus (A bit like Mama G). She should be soft spoken, shy, not promiscuous, have limited opinions, and be naturally submissive. (Soumission naturelle pour la gente masculine.) This is of course to every man’s delight & I do not blame you gentlemen… I take this opportunity to clarify my position on submission: It is neither wrong nor right, it is a personal choice that has no place in public discourse. The closer the girl child works to attain those ideal standards of beauty, the more likely an eligible bachelor will ask for her hand and finance her life, a sort of walking 401k.

While marriage is an honorable goal, isn’t it time we insist on teaching our daughters additional values? Are we pseudo-prostituting our daughters? What happens when the “rich husbands” run out?¹

Love,

-Liv

1. Seeing that I am not God, I have no right to judge anyone; the thematic at hand here is “what are we teaching our girls?” ↩︎