Welcome to the highly requested… LOVE DIARIES. Burna Boy tried to warn us in “Last Last” but we laughed and took it for play-play. The bottom line is this: Live long enough and you will dump AND be dumped. Now that God has re-adjusted my path, and my family has spent 1 year band-aid’ing the emotional wounds; I am ready for action!
Before we proceed, let us first define what I mean by dating so it does not look like I am BOOM-BOOM’ing the entire city. (Not that you, dearest reader, holds shares in this enterprise that is my body.) Respectfully, the clarification is for my family reading! For me, dating is going out for dinner or a similar activity with a suitor in order to determine compatibility, that is it, that is all. One of my most trusted advisors, AKA sis, asked whether there was no risk in exposing my private life. I responded that my need to share lessons learned outweighed my need for privacy. Also, what is privacy really? Ko niyo muhishe tubimenya ra? (You hide your business but we always find out anyways..)
So what is my precise end goal in these streets? Unclear. And that’s ok. I once meticulously planned every detail of my life and it went to shito (ghanaian pepper sauce, catch the play on word) so now Im just winging it. More scholarly said, I am exercising my most fundamental of human rights: the right to live! When it is time to bear children, God willing, I will re-visit and decide how/when/withwhom to settle.
Let us now tackle the juicy parts. Is divorce a failure? Not in as much as disease is. We don’t tell sick patients “oh dear; you failed at staying healthy”. Why? Because there are too many factors. Sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes not. Life is unpredictable and has no formula. As long as you exit with clean hands, then, to God be the Glory! In reality, what DOES constitute moral failure, that most trivialize, is infidelity, financial abuse, emotional abuse… As for physical abuse (both towards male and female), I cant believe it is still a topic of discourse in this new millenium. My position on the matter is best captured by Nina Simone’s words: “I’ll kill the first mother… I see” beat a woman.
In lighter news, the Art of Seduction was never an issue for Chouchou Des Grands Lacs. I seem to captivate them, mesmerize them, entertain them; which frankly, makes sense, Im a great lover! (Focus please, humility is not the test at hand…) I once made a flight attendant issue an announcement on the plane to all passengers because it was my partners birthday . So… for me, getting them is not the issue. What is unnatural is navigating the waters of relationships. I have long viewed love as pure and unadulterated but apparently I am the only one! The rest of the world is in a mega-video game of sorts. Where women play hard to get while dying inside and men pay for dates and acquiesce to everything just so they can Boom Boom. Nobody shares their true sentiments. In this game, women often marry for financial stability because they have neither energy nor desire to wrestle with capitalism. And men marry so they dont have to do the chores they hate. Everyone is in it for their own skin and there comes I, casually strolling in, fresh from visiting Alice in Wonderland. (Quick shoutout to my almost-cousin, the original Alice, Umutoni mu bakobwa, coolest boss lady to ever do it!) Dad teased me the other day, wagiye umanuka gato ukadusura kwisi (my daughter come visit us on earth sometimes – joking about my idealism). So now, since my hand has been forced, I have finally studied the rules of the game and I am ready to play. It’s a bit like the below dilemma. Do I believe in guns? No. But since the entire American population has one, should I get one? Probably.
Aht! Aht! Aht!. Pick Up your jaw. We have seen men leave their wives & marry their wives friends or sisters with zero shame. We have seen mothers leave entire inheritance to dogs; it’s not Olivia documenting her dinner dates that will shock & paralyze you. Cheers to love and passion! Allez On Y Va, Shuka Chini, Chini Sana, dancez, dancez 🎶🎼🎵
Mufasa, dear friend, do that thing you used to do for the crew in college, you know that thing with your chest; and announce the first candidate in.
Ah! Welcome. Please have a seat gentleman, how do you do?
LawyerLiv & Co. 
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