BAZA CHOUCHOU

I received the below question and I will attempt to answer to the best of my ability. So help me God.

“For someone who absolutely values their privacy but falls in love with someone who is under circumstances beyond his own doing is in the public eye- what advice would you give this person? Do they let go of what could be the one? Or do they accept their fate as someone who will always be in the public eye. Beyond that, what if that relationship fails when it’s in the public eye? Or something happens and their family’s privacy is violated as a result of being in the public eye? How does one navigate that dilemma?”

Well first, I must congratulate you. Falling in love is one of my favorite hobbies. Two things are true (1) No human likes to be dominated with a controller like they are PlayStation. (2) Everyone’s rights, choices, preferences, boundaries MUST be honored. In other words, partner likes to flaunt their lives, with zero regard to privacy? Let them do as they please. At the same time, you wish to remain in the anonymity? They are to let you do as you please. Perhaps, you can come to a sort of consensus where every other aspect of their lives is public except the part you’re in. Alternatively, if this is a person who can’t NOT be in the public eye (i.e. Obama. Also, who you dating sis?) ask them to shield you from that life to the best of their ability — We rarely see Denzel’s wife. At the same time, try and be accomodating, this is a bit of your cross to bear. Life is a choice, you can’t go be with Hollywood Denzel and expect Dawidi from Village’s privacy level.

In terms of what happens when relationship fails when it is in the public eye? Baby, we watched the most powerful on Earth confess to having engaged in sexual relations with an intern in the oval only for business to go on as usual. We’re past Puritan Era, no one will make you wear a Scarlet letter as punishment. People make up and break up daily. Do you suppose yourself greater than them? We pray it does not happen. But if it does. Oh well. You won’t die. More importantly, new scandals develop daily so you won’t be on people’s lips forever.(Case in point: Moi.)

Sending you and your new found love hugs and kisses. Umwana muzamwite Chouchou…

XOXO