Mr. Near-Perfect

Incredibly disappointed to report Mr. Perfect is not perfect after all. The man does not indulge in gossip, imagine that. I recently met his friends. I was excited for the event to conclude so we can comment on everyone and everything. I eagerly started: “Did you see how so and so looked at so and so? Why was so and so unengaged? Also, no offense, but that one friend of yours dresses like an uncle. By the way, the girl there, was that his girlfriend? She is cute” Only for Prof to say to me “I don’t speak about people.” Wawu…. Well, neither do I. I simply comment on what is displayed in front of me. You can’t see a Dinosaur with a Mowhak enter a yellow cab wearing chanel and not flinch. Some things REQUIRE commentary.So now, I preface every commentary with: Don’t worry. You have my consent to be un-gentlemany.Welcome to my life, also known as Comedy Central.

XOXO