DELILAH MIXED WITH JEZEBEL

One of the many things one struggles with as an unmarried young African woman in the church is wardrobe science.

In Rwanda, they used to straight up come to me and comment on my outfit. “It’s too tight, sister Olivia”. Depending on my mood, I’d either argue my case or just smile and ignore. Sometimes I’d even be self-conscious that I wasn’t being Christian enough. Then I realized their fears were imagined when they commented on my cleavage being exposed. Dearest reader, I have no cleavage TO expose. God gave me everything except breasts and eyebrows. (I later got the brows microbladed and found no use for breasts…) In sum, their critique isn’t always factual/objective.

And you know, if their motivations were more pure, we’d be more amenable to change. I know their motives have rotten roots because no one policed me when I was married! So, it’s really the single piece that tires them. It’s about ensuring there is no promulgation of Delilahs and Jezebels. This in my view, is a gross underestimation of women. Because, based on what fact, have you concluded we want these your men? Unlike Samson, these men don’t even appear to be Nazirites dedicated to God from their mother’s womb.

I’ve reached the stage —- which comes with age and status I presume —- where they (almost) respect me and don’t comment to my face anymore. Having a nice black job helps; I think they think I may withhold my offerings if offended.

Unfortunately, African churches are fertile ground for sex scandals. Cause? Unchecked men’s appetite and naive good girls.

But I posit to you now, that there is a new generation of women rising. We may not look like how you wish but when we see men in the church, our thoughts can never be “how shall we seduce them.” But rather, an intercessory spirit overcomes us and we plead with God: “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and the sin so grievous… I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes. What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep the city away and not spare it?” Genesis 28

All in all, stop policing us, we may revere the House of God more than your turtle-neck-in-the-summer-wearing-favorite-sister-in-the-Lord. No jugement unto her either… God help us all. In other words, let each, mind their cross!