BRIDE PRICE

Our African customs mandate the payment of a bride price (AKA dowry/ “Inkwano”) to the woman’s family. This is a symbol of gratitude that says “Thank You For Raising a Wife for me” . There is no actual set amount, every family decides. Some families legit have lists of items to purchase (Cattle, Jewels, Materials, Nido, etc.) along with an expected cash amount. In our family, dad says he would accept $10 if that’s all the man had and he was found to be honorable in his sight. Dad is of the school of thought that “A Mugenga Girl makes her own money, and so a Man’s money is a non-factor.” We are 4 girls, all of us married and our bride prices have been paid. Unlike dad and the Dalai Lama, I care about money a bit, and wish to highlight all 4 dowries were hefty…

My case is quite peculiar though since we divorced… What then? Is the bride price to be returned. Traditionally yes. Here no. Stay with me, I’ll explain.

(1) There was never any bride price to return because dad never keeps the money. He always gives it back to his daughters as a gift to accompany the bride in her new chapter.

(2) Rwanda does not recognize customary traditional weddings and so there are no written laws to guide us, we can, however, look to neighboring Uganda that DOES recognize the legal validity of traditional weddings. For long, since the bride price ratified the union, the return of it had to occur to ciment the separation. This is also how many other African societies functionned before courts! However, in a recent twist, Ugandan Supreme Court has ruled the refund of the bride price by the woman’s parents upon a failed marriage as unconstitutional as it puts the man at an unfair advantage.

With all due respect to other African cultures, I must say, Rwanda is seemingly light years ahead. I have NEVER heard of anyone in Rwanda returning a Bride Price after the marriage occur. Have you? How very gracious, & decorous of you, Rwagasabo.