La vie Kinoise

If you are a young African woman working in Africa, and God has elevated you so that you find yourself with certain decisionmakers, good luck being respected. This is not even sexism. It’s beyond. It’s infantilization.

Which is wild because how am I a child and you’re flirting? I hate to confirm the clichés but, NZAMBE NA NGAI, Congolese men can flirt, at all times, in all contexts. Un petit “Maman na taille avantageuse” par-ci, un petit “je suis amoureux, c’est mauvais?” par là. If you are not a veteran of managing attention like me (For charm is my specialty) you will mistaken yourself for Beyonce, lose focus and the children will not be fed, COME ON NOW!!

Truth is, here in Kinshasa, flirting is more of a pastime… It’s not about you, it’s about them. One legit told me “WOW. You look like me if I was a woman.” Another, after we danced Rumba strategically across from his people, he said “Repose toi, il y a des jaloux parmi nous.” (Rest, we have jealous people amongst us.) As it turns out, the man was using me to settle score, and I was there vibing on my friend-whose-hand-I-shook, Fally; clueless, like a Muzungu in Africa for the first time.

WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID, I was not prepared for workplace flirt. In the boardroom mid-session, you will be presenting a spreadsheet, and he will consume you with his eyes, right there, live. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not offended, I am a free spirit, a major proponent of “DO, YOU BOO”. Mais tonton, travaillons d’abord. Un peu de “quand meme”… (Can you fake work first, uncle)

BEYOND ALL THIS, seduction is a game to me. I’ll still go home alone and you’re not coming to my hotel, which, I am told, makes my flirting useless… Having studied the Kinshasa market intensely, I confirm, Prof remains the coolest guy I know. PS: Prof is impossible to objectify, he is even more of a free spirit than me, which is SUPER RARE.

One Love, One Africa.