Kuregana, bibi!

Couple things can be true at the same time. On one hand, I never wish to minimize past loves, every love is beautiful in its time. On the other hand, I cannot re-write history… It is what it is… Most importantly, while I don’t wish for divorce to be my whole personality & generally prefer to shield my previous partner- Truth is, there is SO MUCH JUICY SH** to share. Plus, sometimes I wanna highlight the heroic nature of my family. So, boom, check this out:

One day, my ex-husband called my father to complain about me. He could not say I cheat, I don’t. He could not say I fight, I don’t. So he’d speak about random house chores. He was a clean freak so he didn’t even necessarily mind cleaning & sh***. Truth is, I later understood, marriage bored him, and since I was UNEQUIVOCAL about infidelity not being normal- I was killing his vibe.

I tried to warn him, the second my family gets involved – it’s over. He didn’t believe me. He thought I was scared of being in trouble. He had incorrectly assumed dad would revert to the classic “listen to your husband!”/ “niko zubakwa” line- most African parents revert to. Dad never gave regular African parent. (The man left Rwanda to live in Vegas when he retired in his 60s, & worked to complete the PHd he started in his 30s in Indiana – that was interrupted by the Genocide. We’d ask, why Vegas. He’d say, why not?) So when he called dad to complain. Dad simply said: “It sounds like you want a housewife. My daughter was not raised to be housewife. Thank you for your call. I must go now.” This was the first and last time my ex-husband called to complain about me.

I eventually concluded he missed the streets & I did what every great freedom fighter would do: liberate the man. Shoulda seen the beam in his eyes, that man almost quoted MLK’s “Free at last, free at last/ Thank God almighty, we are free at last” Much later, when the anger had subsided, I told him: “babe don’t re-marry, it’s not for you… also, I’m pawning the ring.” **Click**

Abana bisobanukiwe, petit.