Kenya & Customer Service in Africa

As I prepare to travel to my 9th African country in coming days for work, I note, Kenya is a Pan African Hub.

First of all, they have eliminated visas for all Africans. Granted, this is not yet in full effect. These laws take a minute to fully implement but still. How cool? They seem to favor Africans. Which – believe it or not, is RARE on African soil. Dearest Reader, as I am not in the business of embellishing truths, permit me to present things as I see them….

African countries typically always favor foreigners. Hierarchy being: (1) Whites (2) Arabs (3) Blacks from America (4) Blacks from other African nations minus Nigeria. (Nigerians have an unfortunate reputational problem in Africa which we can touch on later.) THENNNN nationals of said country come last.

And they LOVE to stress you at the airport. For example, more than once, though my paperwork is always complete: valid business visa+ yellow fever card + covid card etc. I have been made to beg. Why? Corruption. They know your docs are in order, they just try to squeeze you where they can… Solution? Avoid speaking the national language. I have tested this. I receive shi*** service when I speak French in Francophone Africa than when I don’t. I think the reason is, can’t squeeze someone if you can barely communicate with the person. This brings me to the Golden (Very Annoying) Rule of African Travel: DO NOT ARGUE! Show extreme deference to authority and be sure to throw in couple fake “Yes Sir” “Thank You Sir”. And if your dignity permits, even incline yourself and sorta bow…

In America, the opposite is true, causing a scene is super effective. It signals you know your rights and because systems work, they are afraid of consequences. In Africa, I’ve seen countries where entry at the airport is MANUALLY RECORDED. & I almost lost it. TF??? Y’all can’t buy a $200 Google Chrome Computer. Anyway- if you try to argue with THAT guy writing everyone’s name using pen and paper- he will stare you up and down and chuckle. Because he knows, in that moment in time, he is King of your fate. As Francophone Africans say “Tu vas crier Ho-Ha; ça ne vas pas aller quelque part.” I’m telling you, conserve your saliva. DO NOT ARGUE TO GET BETTER SERVICE IN AFRICA- Super pointless. The very idea of “Customer is King” is foreign concept. In Africa, the Customer is a “Random Who May Waste Your Time So Waste His First”…

What shall we say, but:
One Love, One Africa.