Igisabo

“Igisabo” is a Rwandan traditional calabash which, among other things, was used to make butter from milk in Ancient Rwanda. It carries great cultural significance as it symbolizes prosperity and abundance. Our matriarch, grandma Daphy, gifts it to all young women in the family when they marry. It is her way to usher us into womanhood. Goodluck carrying the thing through US Customs. Luckily my sister had done it before me and taught me all the tricks.

Curious minds may inquiry. So… does that mean I am to dispose of it – now that **cough cough** God forbid! It remains my most priced possession! Little known fun fact, grandmother too, divorced & later re-married a man who ended up saving her life in 1994 & building her a house with his bare hands in our native village.

No one in my lineage ever been a ”niko zubakwa”. (“That’s how marriage works.” Common Kinyarwanda phrase to imply that unequal balance of power is an accepted norm in marriage.) In my family we are masters of our fate, captains of our destiny. Mere minutes ago, I was on the phone, explaining to my super-fair-minded dad how I heard the other day an African leader mock the concept of marital rape. Super confused, he asked “but chouchou what do you mean they don’t believe in it? On what basis?”

One Love, One Africa!