(Un)Holy Matrimony

They will say “here goes Olivia, complaining about Marriage again…” I beg, I beg, I am innocent of all they accuse me… I write about what I observe in society, the moment the institution becomes equitable, le chapitre seras clos,(the chapter will cease).

What I have observed is this: if you like, as a woman, go to the Moon, come back, bring electricity to your father’s village, write a Bestseller while leading a Fortune 500; African communities will look you in the eyes and ask, “When are you getting married?” In contrast, do nothing, find a random to marry, push kids and you will be seen as an accomplished, responsible woman. There is no hierarchy in women, a woman is to do whatever TF she wants but you will agree with me this phenomenon is strange, isn’t it?

It is true that marriage is, generally speaking, a noble goal. (Though, permit me to highlight some of y’alls motivations are questionable. A human ATM and/or a human Maid is not so noble of a motivation now is it?) BUT, I digress. Real talk though, what’s with this discomfort most of you seem to have with us single women? This year alone, I was connected to 3 men, ready to marry. I always indulge this when it happens because I find the entire thing humorous. Ofc, never lasts long, they quickly realize our visions of life don’t match. I am a fiery free spirit with a strong aversion to control and while I am down to do the other thing they like, I retired from cooking — which is in their eyes, the GRAVEST sin…

I will indeed have to re-marry at some point & I know I am to be flattered because they only refer who they see as wifey material. BUTTT, I do often wonder why the community wants to marry me off so badly? Not like they get a share of the bride price. Plus, Dad doesn’t even believe in a hefty bride price. In parrallel, it’s not like they care that badly about my wellbeing, they never inquiry about my health or my finances. So… I’ve concluded it’s because they think I may steal one of their husbands (who are, more often than not, eager to be stolen). Therefore, I am here to assure you, population, if I’m going to steal something it is going to be the codes to the local bank.