Demystifying Singlehood

I come (not) in peace. Why y’all marry & act like you’ve discovered the cure for malaria? To couple oneself is perhaps the easiest thing there is. The male to female ratio sits at an almost perfect equilibrium: 4 billion men, 4 billion women.

For every village boy there is an equivalent village girl and for every ruthless city boy there is an equivalent city girl. The talls have enough talls to couple themselves with and the short have enough short to match them. We can also mix and match. A generous figured woman can get a skinny man for diversity. Ah! And when money enters, things become even easier. Love is now a purchasable commodity. I can make a couple phone calls right now, sponsor a brother from my father’s village and the ceremonies will be finalized by midday. He gets a visa, I get a man. Nyanza on the map. Everyone is happy.

In other words, “kuburanirwa” is a myth invented by a bored great grand father somewhere to stress ambitious women. I always find it presumptious when married persons deem singles as lacking. Talking about, “nkurangire”? Chérie, the type you got, I can get in 6hrs on my own… Mana, murancumuza!

The concept of singlehood being a choice appears foreign to some because not everyone plans their lives. Some of you are just there: No vision. No goals. Life just kinda happens. You marry because someone asked and you figured why not. You birth kids because that’s what everyone does. Some of you don’t even like kids. But you keep having kids. TF? You are just there oppressing the singles, knowing damn well your partner snores too loud. The marketing is not marketing…

PS: Ndabasomeye ntimuzongere…
One Love, One Africa, One Humanity.