Author: LawyerLiv
-
Assassination Attempt
Barely 9am and I have already survived two assassination attempts. First, my liquid foundation spilled all over me as if to blind me, then the coffee shop got my order wrong as if to poison me. Dearest reader, I lead a strenuous life, victim of my charm, like Nigerian Rapper Skales; “Them wan hold me…
-
Africans & Kirk’s Whitewashed Gospel
Conservative, Judgmental, Hateful, Uneducated, Detached Christians are perhaps my least favorite category of humans. The juxtaposition is too grave for my soul to bare. It often comes as a surprise – (for I am apparently not constipated enough for y’all)- but please understand; like my mother before me, and her mother before her, I am…
-
African Pilgrimage
As we hustle and bustle through morning traffic and Starbucks lines, on the other side of the Atlantic, a Ghanaian man and his partner, A Zimbabwean woman have claimed random Scottish woodland as theirs, named it “Kingdom of Kubala”, declared themselves King and Queen and even managed to gain an American follower who offers Fanta…
-
AfriCon, Qu’ran & Speed Dating
“Should all Qu’rans ever burn, we could recreate, did you know that?” A devout Muslim friend tells me, eyes beaming. I’m running like a headless chicken through day 3 of AfriCon, I have 27 hours left to find a husband, I don’t exactly care about the state of Islam at this very second, my brother……
-
Allow Me to Pray for You…
May the unmerited favor of God carry you. May it preserve you from soiling your hands with anger, bitterness, wickedness, evil thoughts. As you elevate, remember your neighbor. Sickness may afflict your body but it will not destroy it. Depression, confusion suicidal ideation are no longer your portion. The Almighty God, creator of Heavens and…
-
(Un)Holy Matrimony
They will say “here goes Olivia, complaining about Marriage again…” I beg, I beg, I am innocent of all they accuse me… I write about what I observe in society, the moment the institution becomes equitable, le chapitre seras clos,(the chapter will cease). What I have observed is this: if you like, as a woman,…
-
Dr. King & Dr. Mugenga
At any given moment, in my childhood home, in early 2000s Kicukiro, one could hear loud, unprovoked, theatrical recitations from dad “I have a dreammm that Oh!Oh! One Dayyy– Eh! Eh! Eh! Ibaze nukuri…Every Hill and Every Mountain” Then he’d add commentary. “En fait, ibaze kwifata ukanga umuntu umuziza uruhu.” (TR: Imagine waking up &…
-
Nziraguseswa in Colonial Rwanda
Right around 1884, when the Berlin Conference shamelessy awarded the territory of sovereign Rwanda to random Germany, (before the Belgians stole it.) Nziraguseswa was minding his Business, chopping life and popping kids. Among whom were Mbazabugabo and Bakinahe. Mbazabugabo had Mugenga. Bakinahe had Karangwa. Mugenga had Ishimwe. Karangwa had Uwicyeza. Fast forward to the new…
-
Death & Revolution
A Man is Dead. Human Life is Sacred. Gun Violence is Horrendous. May God receive him. I can never speak ill of the departed, my moral code does not permit. I, however, can speak ill of YOU. You randoms, pushing forced compassion down our throat. Conservative Christians popping out of nowhere to “denounce…”. Where y’all…
-
Most People Are Not Free
Most people are not free…They live calculated, precise lives. Shackled with heavy family expectations and societal pressure. They live to impress those they love and to oppress those they hate. They are burdened by 1000 Commandements and random Etiquette Rules. Because, explain to me, how placing my elbow at the dinner table will curve my…
LawyerLiv & Co. 